Lots of women come to me and say:
“Courtney, I feel like I’m TOO in my masculine. I’m successful, I’m amazing at business, I know how to get things done in the world…
“But something doesn’t feel right. I go into adrenal fatigue because I’m living off WAY too much testosterone for a female body. I can’t find a partner who meets me, because I don’t’ know how to surrender into my feminie sexuality…
“I have all of this ‘success’, but I feel disconnected from my yoni and I don’t, despite all I’m capable of, feel fulfilled. It hurts! Help!”
So firstly, because this label of ‘Feminine’ is so socially hot right now, let’s define our terms.
When I say ‘Feminine’ what I am NOT talking about (and what these women are not referring to) is gender stereotypes. I am not referring to femininity as painted nails and a servile attitude to men. I mean, can you imagine Kali painting her nails to be acceptable?! She’s more likely to burn the factory down if it was only there to encourage external validation.
When I say ‘Feminie’, what I am referring to is the quality of ENERGY within all manifest reality. What brings life alive.
Aliveness. Juiciness. Pleasure.
The Feminine can be fierce and she can be soft. Just as the ocean can be still and at times, ferocious. She has infinite faces. Just as every person has the ability to access each archetype in the whole of human consciousness
There are so many aspects too, to the masculine. But for the sake of this article, let’s narrow it down (I’ll write a blog about the masculine another time).
We could say that the masculine is consciousness. Awareness. Stillness. He can both penetrate reality to make things happen, or he can hold a still spaciousness around it… bringing calm to the storm.
But usually, when women say “I’m too in my masculine.” What they mean is:
“I have an AMAZING and super directive masculine, with a feminine who hasn’t been developed yet.”
A feminine who doesn’t know how to let go, surrender, and experience the pure juicy aliveness of life.
They can get shit done, button the process, they feel hard, and disconnected.
Quite often these women feel dried out, brittle.
And their sex lives, and romantic lives, pay for it.
Not only that, but it means they don’t ever get to experience the deep and very real, feminine mysteries. Or the spiritual initiations that come as we deepen into those mysteries.
So I share with these women some of the key pieces I found in my journey to:
Awakening and activating my feminine power.
There are many different aspects of the Feminine for these women to claim in their journey. Aspects that I also had to embody on my personal journey to activating my feminine power.
* The emotional self: being ok with feeling all the things, especially anger.
* The wild self: reclaiming the instinctual and uncontrolled. They’re usually super intuitive, but some of them have shut it down in a massive way.
* The pleasure and desire feeling self.
* Their fierce boundary setting self.
* Self love and vulnerability
* Self trust
* Loving their bodies and seeing their own beauty.
And the one that is really the foundation for them all:
The sexual self.
And this means connecting to your yoni.
The yoni (Vagina) is the seat of ALL your feminine wisdom as a woman.
Your womb holds the deep cyclic mysteries. The whole Creative Nature of Reality births from your sacred temple. If you are numbed there, you will not be able to embody your feminie power.
Many women still feel the tinge of religious shame around sex.
It is so sad what has been done to sexuality in the name of ‘God’.
Because sexual energy IS creative energy.
This universe is a CREATIVE universe.
God/dess is ‘The Creator’.
It is through sex that we create LIFE.
In connecting to your sexuality, what you’re doing is:
getting right up, close and personal with Source.
Because Sexual energy IS source energy.
It is the foundational building blocks of what we are all made from.
So when you activate and embody your feminine power, you are making a huge act of surrender to God/dess.
To the universe.
You are allowing yourself to become a vessel for life to move through you.
You enter flow states.
You no longer operate according to how society wants you to, but with what is in alignment to your soul.
You feel energised, full of love, generosity and vitality.
Every moment is one not of control and ‘over active yang’ … but deep surrender. Your sex life improves (A LOT), you hear your intuition.
You become radiant.
So what are the MOST important things you can do to activate your feminine power?
1. Connect to your yoni.
Does she feel numb? Is she in pain?
How is she feeling?
How does she want to feel?
What does she need to feel that way?
When you dance, feel her. Let your body move on the dance floor from feeling her. What feels good to her? What will bring her more alive? How can you move/dance/walk in a way that will bring her even more pleasure? Do those things.
2. Connect to your sexuality.
What are the secret fears you have around connecting to and expressing your sex?
What are the judgements you hold about other women who are sexually expressive?
What are the stories you’ve told yourself around why it’s not ok to do that?
What is it going to give your life when you do open up to your sexuality?
How is it going to feel in every single cell of your body?
Start a self pleasure practice. One that is not about getting off, but about enjoying every single moment of pleasure… as though you had never experienced it before!
3. Listen to the Cycles of your own body.
The women I know who got into adrenal fatigue (myself included), did so because they were in way too much ‘push’ energy. And not enough receptive energy. They’ve pushed themselves into conforming in a masculine structured, corporate world. Instead of operating with the cycles of their own body.
I have the luxury that I work for myself and I can take time out. Maybe you don’t have that luxury (yet).
BUT: When you feel tired: take a rest. Take a dance break! You’ll find that you work better after taking some time to yourself. Don’t push!
Honour the periods of emotional reflection. Cry when you need to. It’s healthy! And know that when your system is ready, you will come out of it. And you’ll be revitalised because of the time you’ve taken to feel what is underneath.
Schedule days off on the first three days of your moon time.
Take that time to go inwards and connect to yourself. You’ll find you have more energy throughout the month as a result.
Learn how your personal cycles work and move with them, rather than against them.
and here are two more important ones for free…
4. Join a Course or work with a mentor
In our individualist culture, we are told to do it all alone. But it’s actually a delusion that we do anything alone. And when you can do it A LOT FASTER with the help of someone else, why wouldn’t you give that to yourself? Then you’ll access your own fulfilment faster and be able to help others more quickly too!
Embody the Temple is the eight week online course I created for women. To delve into the feminine mysteries of their bodies. To unlock their sexual pleasure and expression. To connect sex and heart. To understand both boundaries and desire.
I believe it’s one of the most integrated courses on feminine sexuality that I have seen to date. One that gives balance to both our human and our spiritual selves.
It’s for women who want to surrender, and let go. To build healthy boundaries, recognising themselves for the temple they are… and EMBODY THAT.
There are so many women who are working in the field of feminine empowerment and women’s sexuality (which is so great!). Go and explore the many offerings, and work with someone you feel resonance with. Someone who you trust. This is such a deep area, it’s important to feel the integrity of the person you’re working with.
And more than anything: feel into if they EMBODY (not just talk about) what it is you’re looking for in yourself. Transmission plays a BIG role in healing. That only happens when they WALK THEIR TALK.
The other key piece I would say about activating feminine power is:
5. Spend time with women you love.
Celebrate each other.
Share your secrets with each other.
Encourage each other to shine.
It is through supporting each other that we:
empower ourselves, each other, and make this world a better place for everyone!
Hanging out with all those juicy women will also up your own powerful juice factor!
If you loved this article, please share it and comment below.
I’d love to hear from you!
Fierce Mystic (aka Courtney Maria).